Deep Rooted Abuse

Today I want to share a story of a little girl who wished to fly and soar high in the sky, who wished to explore galaxies, religions, lifestyles and endless gifts that God gifted her by birth. She spent most of the time alone in her own world or what can I say she was forced to, because she was the ugly duckling. She didn’t fit in with the other kids of her age as their interests differed from her. She was so full of hope and she had thousands of dreams in her eyes that used to twinkle more spark every time she lived her dream. She was alone but still wasn’t lonely. She had a doll who was her best friend and she used to share her life with her. She spent most of the time engaging in creative activities that was her best pastime and you know what she still does it when she feel like meeting her younger self. Being creative came to her as naturally as breathing, expressing her through her arts like paintings, dancing, singing, acting, her attire, words and touch were her gifts. But as she grew up and shared her dreams with her family, friends, mentors and relatives each and every one of them told her that they weren’t possible. Even though there were several people who were living those dreams, they still had the audacity to look into those innocent eyes and say that you can’t do it. There wasn’t even ounce of shame in their eyes for breaking her world and beliefs like that. They all just made up their mind that just because they themselves or someone other from their community couldn’t do it or didn’t even dared to do it, so she wouldn’t be able to do it either but who they are to dictate someone’s life, how could they be so ignorant to realize that they are snatching someone’s bright future and their happily ever after by their lame predictions. So one by one over the years they prohibited her from expressing herself, sometimes by saying you shouldn’t waste time by drawing try doing mathematics problems instead, sometimes saying you are grown up now so you shouldn’t show off your legs in miniskirts, sometimes by silencing her to respond back to negative criticism cause they are elders and good girls don’t answer back, sometimes by promoting early age marriages just because those girls were romantically involved at teenage, so she decided to stay away from love and gave up on those adolescent butterflies in her tummy, sometimes by saying you can choose any career you want but only in science field cause you have a sharp brain and it will get wasted if you choose arts as a career (as if art industry doesn’t require brain, funny, right? But at that point of time it wasn’t funny. I took that as a valuable life advice from a close loved one), sometimes by saying only we can find a perfect match for you to get married cause we are parents and they know everything about the outer world, sometimes by asking to trust and follow someone blindly cause they are bosses and they know what is best again, sometimes she was asked to fit in perfect daughter in law model (perfect gungi behri bahu jo mundi hilake sare orders follow karti hai) created by society and the list goes on…. And she didn’t even realize when she killed her herself and became the puppet of other’s hands. But some voice inside her kept telling her something is wrong and that something is missing and that was her last ray of hope to regain her self. Whenever she discussed this issue again she got answers like everyone feels like that it’s a part of life, nobody has everything you have to compromise in life that’s the way to live a life (seriously who made this bakwas rules I reject them all). On one fine night she had vivid dream of a big black snake almost four times her size. There was a room and she was alone there sleeping peacefully on her wooden bed it had four pillars above the bed and white transparent net was falling from all four sides. Her cushions, pillows, sheets and even her nighty was white and super clean like it was sleeping hub of some angel from heaven. She was dreaming and smiling at the same time. Slowly a black giant snake entered her room and climbed on her bed. First he saw her from a distance and may be admired her a little bit then he found out a way to sneak below her back making an entry from her left side of stomach. Soon after she sensed some presence and got awake cause something felt cold to her skin. As she opened up her eyes and tried to get out of bed fearing the snake. It hastily surrounded her from all sides and blocked her from moving, the more she tried to escape the grip became more severe, and made it harder for her to breathe. She tried so many times and then gave up after giving her best efforts. Then she just closed her eyes and made a wish to the universe to save her and make her free and soon after that the snake went away smoothly just like he entered. That’s all she needed to do just pray. But she didn’t opt for that option earlier cause she was taught to trust on her brain more than anything in the world. I accept brain is a wonderful analyst but only using brain is not enough at times. Sometimes some situations are out of our control, there are several other factors that determine the output of the situation. So best way to deal with situation is to surrender and give it to Universe or God, whoever holds strong hold in your faith. The faith that someone powerful can save us help us get out of fear and our mind is calmer to think through all 360 angles to find solution of the situation. When fear creeps in our system it blocks all the possible ways to deal with situation and tricks us into thinking that there’s no way out. But that’s not the truth, when a problem is born its solution is born along with it, Shree Krishna mentioned it in Bhagwad Gita. It’s funny how some people think they are Gods cause they have some authority over someone and they think they have all the right in the world to make or break someone’s life, that too when they themselves are tightly gripped in the shackles of fears. They have some experiences about life that were totally dependent on their capabilities and perspectives to look at him, and with that minute knowledge they go on to dictate someone else’s life just because they share a bond with you. And throw all their insecurities, doubts, fears, failures and expectations on their shoulders to deal with. The thing is they are so ignorant that they don’t even realize how cruel they are being to their loved one by doing so. We see it every day and everywhere how people around us try to manipulate us in doing and believing things that they have believed or done in the past by constantly feeding their mind with fears like what if you fail. As if no great men in history never failed in their life at anything, as if failure is not a stepping stone to success, as if you lose once or twice, you will be loser all your life long. Where are we going as a society? How people have become so stuck in their comfort zones that they give up on their birth right to explore the gifts and the infinite possibilities of success in all aspects of life? Moreover that, it’s totally insane how this toxic culture has been moved forward from generations to generations. It is so deep rooted in our DNA and social conditioning that it has been accepted as a guideline to lead a happy life. It is accepted without questioning because my dad or mom did the same thing because their parents did the same thing and they passed on that to the next generation as a rule book. It’s totally heartbreaking, how certain people like our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, relatives, and even mentors in professional areas feed your mind with so much fears and rubbish shits about life that you question your worth. That you always feel insecure about your body, appearance, skillsets, careers, social status, financial status and again list goes on. How can someone live a happy life with so many bugs in their systems? How can anyone no matter how sharp or talented function smoothly through life with all these baggage? Asking someone to copy you and restricting them for reaching to their full potential that God has destined for them is literally abuse. Till when we are going to let down almighty God that created us with so many gifts and talents to please the flesh that gave us birth? I am not saying we don’t owe anything to them, we certainly do but then don’t we owe God more? How sad he must feel to see all his super talented children wasting their gifts by filling excel sheets in 9 to 5 jobs just to get a small amount of money or stay in comfort zone? What a waste of life when you are living same day for 50 years and die just like that, without exploring anything new at all. God made us all unique. Every one of us have unique skills, body, mind and purpose and those are best gifts that God gave us by marking us worthy. They are our birth rights. It’s so obscure how some people try to control and nudge their children in certain directions just because they are parents and they have authority over them. But that doesn’t mean you are God and you have all the right in the world to decide how they will talk, how they will dress up, how they will behave, what career path they should choose, what skills they should learn or shouldn’t learn, which life they should choose, how their life partner should look, behave or act, how should they also follow same beliefs or belong to same castes, when they should have babies and the list goes on. When few smart individuals try to raise voice against these abuse, then they are suppressed saying they are bad sons or daughters, siblings, friends or juniors. They are named as heartless, inconsiderate and characterless for being rational and addressing the issues. But that’s how world had always been, it’s so resistant and cruel to change, cause change is scary at start and it makes you uncomfortable. So many scientists, social activists and great lovers in history suffered so much due to the resistance of society. But they refused to give up that’s why we are living in advance era with so much freedom and advance gadgets which made our lives easier than history. If they had chosen comfort zones to fit in society norms or had given up on their purpose and gifts to please the flesh, we would have been living in the same state till now. Today we are in dire need of more scientists, economists, environmentalists, lovers, painters, storytellers and artists to make a world better place instead of creating more candidates with same degrees and skills fighting over single seat. We all have enough room to coexist and succeed in life if we choose to embrace our unique gifts. So are you brave enough to be the weird one, who doesn’t fit in?